when church becomes messy & hard

photo credit: Lisa Leonard 

I don't have a degree in theology. I can't read in Greek. I never went to seminary. But I've witnessed struggle in church. I've dealt with struggle in church. At one point, I even felt like church owed me something and if it didn't measure up to my standards, I didn't need to be a part. 

BOY WAS I WRONG.

Church isn't about me at all. It's not about my comfort or convenience.

I've watched many run when things got hard. I don't always agree with how things are handled. I get frustrated at surface level conversation. I crave something deeper. I would've loved to be a part of the first church in Acts. 

The Lord is breaking me, y'all. He's showing me who He is and how He didn't run when things got hard. How steady He was. How He refines in the fire. How He wants to use me to help build a church that is more like Him, despite its current condition. 

In church,

-disunity bothers me- what are we doing to reconcile with one another?

-trendiness concerns me- how are we setting ourselves apart?

-each one of us is accountable to the Lord, ourselves and others- how are we being intentional with one another? how are we being intentional in our time with the Lord? 

Our spiritual growth is our responsibility, not the pastor's. 

The Gospel is enough. The Lord doesn't need our cliches, trends or convenience to make His truth cool. Others will be drawn to our love for another, our authenticity, our joy in the sorrow and hard times. What does it mean to look like Jesus? And how are we striving for that daily? 

So please stop pointing fingers and blaming others for the way things are... The power is ultimately within us to make our churches a place where "awe comes upon every soul." (Acts 2:43) 

It’s the broken hearts that find the haunting loveliness of a new beat — it’s the broken hearts that make a song that echoes God’s. -Ann Voskamp 

Brokenness brings people together. Hard times tend to create community. But maintaining community takes work and effort. So let's start having these messy conversations about our brokenness, the things that make us uncomfortable, the things we like to keep hidden. And since when did church become competition? Us vs. them, him against her...

Helloooooo,.. We are all on the same team.

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." (Hebrews 10:23-25)

Let us be kind.

Let us be gentle.

Let us be real. 

Let us be Jesus to those around us.

Struggle well and carry one another. Rejoice in how the Lord is faithful. 

Perhaps if we strive for these things, we will then begin to see glimpses of His kingdom come. 

side note: I've been listening to this song on repeat. Enjoy! (thanks Julielle for sharing it with me!)
https://youtu.be/djrY_eFDOwE

becoming home

So we've been in our home almost 2 weeks and the projects continue on. It's nice to start settling but hard to find where we've made any noticeable dents in our efforts. Disclaimer: the pictures may look lovely, but behind the scenes, we've ran into an array of setbacks: a loose toilet, broken sprinkler heads, corroded garbage disposal, dryer vent adjustments etc. normal homeownership stuff --so even though I've made it appear so ideal, it hasn't been that way.

Before we moved in

Needless to say, we are thrilled (and exhausted) to be homeowners. It is so fun to see dreams become reality. 

We looked like the Beverly hillbillies driving down the road. It took us 4 days to move everything IN the TEXAS SUMMER HEAT! What the heck were we thinkin?! 

I have a secret Pinterest board for inspiration but thought I'd share some with you. Our fireplace is in serious need of an update and hoping to get that done soon. I'm also super obsessed with upholstered headboards. 

Also after adding beadboard wallpaper to our built-in shelves, I've decided everything needs more beadboard. Love love love.

Our kitchen is about the only room that is mostly settled. Working on getting the rest of the house that way.

Our laundry "room" is right by our kitchen.. I kinda love it because I don't forget about the laundry this way! 

Some sweet details above the kitchen sink ;) love that my mom brings me fresh zinnias from her garden

We took out the cabinets by the fridge because they were made for a smaller fridge. I was going to paint the shelf I put there, but I'm digging the wood contrast.

I love this open shelf by the fridge. I was originally going to paint it, but I kinda like it au naturale. 

Our 2nd home as of late --Good thing its one of my favorite places to go! 

Huge difference was made in the foyer! It's amazing what some paint and new flooring can do to transform a place. :) 

Love our front foyer! 

I spray painted all the knobs a polished silver color for the dining room and kitchen. Spray painting hardware is a great way to update and save money!

Another update I did was to hide the handicap bars in our bathroom. We didn't want to get rid of them, but I wanted to definitely conceal them.  These cute curtains did the trick! When one needs to shower, there is a hidden hook to push curtain back so it doesn't get caught in the door.


I'm pretty sure my favorite thing is the different reactions I get from changing our address. Yes, Emilee lives on Emily street.

That's all folks! Will plan to update you again in a few weeks!

our house story

This blog is full of inconsistencies. I'm faithful and then life happens. Sorry readers. I guess the best thing I like it for is TELLING STORIES... namely of God's faithfulness. Here's a fine example. Lemmetellya, WAITING is hard to do....Ugh, it's so hard. The waiting can feel like ages of not knowing or understanding why.

We've been looking for a house for 6 months. . .but nothing ever felt quite right. I kept asking myself, Shea, and our realtor if we were crazy picky or something. We didn't feel like we were being unrealistic. Nothing was the right fit. We looked in several towns too, hoping that we would find something to call home. We scoured realtor.com. We have experienced every emotion there is from excitement (its perfect!) to sadness (house already under contract) to disagreement (love/hate). I guess in the midst of it all, I honestly tried not to get my hopes up anymore.

Then things changed with our rental situation and it became apparent that we needed to find something soon and maybe not be so "picky"... We had discussed me possibly changing jobs and this is where I literally felt like a giant toddler throwing a fit to God and asking him why. I wrestled with thoughts for 3 days as we began looking for houses in another town. On Monday, I had a sobfest with my boss letting her know I may have to leave BUT that I didn't want to and I wasn't happy about it.

And here is where things get interesting...

I had already prepped myself for something that dissatisfied me, but I was asking the Lord to make me willing if it was His will.

That same Monday afternoon I was washing dishes after school and received a text from our realtor. It confused me because she told me she was at a house and there was something about it she just couldn't shake. I didn't know what she was talking about since we weren't looking at houses in our hometown...I thought maybe it was fluke or she meant to send it to someone else. Finally, I realized she wanted me to come see this house and I didn't get my hopes up because it needed some work, but it had a ton of potential. I was anxious to see if Shea would even like it.

Turns out he did like the house! And our families loved it! By Wednesday, we made an offer and we had a contract Friday. It was inspected and now we went through the entire loan process. But towards the end, there was a possibility we wouldn't close on time. This was an issue, and honestly it was really frustrating. I was so anxious to have a place of our own. Well actually, we have some work to do before we move in and so I guess I was feeling the time crunch of getting all of that done. The Lord is so faithful though, even in such small ways. He worked it out and we closed on time. So tonight we began our renovations. I love that I can't even tell this story without giving Him all the credit.

I've heard someone say "When God's in it, it flows. When He's not, it's forced." The waiting was worth it. We are so pumped about our new home. I am so glad I get to stay at my job that I love! I told our realtor I'm so glad she listened to the Holy Spirit prompting her to contact me about this home. Speaking of our realtor, Kim Buettner is fabulous. She was patient and honest after we looked at 100's of homes (no lie). We never felt obligated or forced to go with a home. I tell everyone that she has made the difference during this process and we are truly grateful to her. Even until the very end, she answered every silly question that I emailed, texted, or called about. I'm truly going to miss working with her because she became a great friend.

Stay tuned:: I've got big plans for this house and I can't make any promises, but I feel like this may become a home renovation and design blog for a few years if ya'll don't mind. My heart is full because making a house a home is life giving to me.

The part that makes me smile the most:
We live on Emily street. [I find that quite adorable]